Written by Ali Raja’i
Translated by Sayyad Hassan Naqavi
Key Words: children, conversation, attention, speech, questions, developmental path, positive sentence, language of communication
In a simple definition, language is a set of contractual symbols used to convey a message. This set includes three sides: transmitter, receiver and linguistic text. The use of language to convey concepts is such a part of everyone’s life that, like breathing air, life is impossible without it, but its existence and characteristics are less noticed on a daily basis.
But the discussion in this article is where the recipients of this collection are children. Children need unique tools to communicate, given their sensitive and delicate world and the importance of their developmental path.
All of us have heard this beautiful verse from Rumi many times, who says: “Because with the child, the head and the card should be opened / the children’s tongue should be open” and the summary of the speech is the point of this verse.
The language of communication with the child should be a colorful world appropriate to his nature; Sometimes this language is manifested in playing, sometimes in painting, and sometimes in the guise of speaking to him (spoken language). In this article, we will look at the specific language spoken by children, and the points that are important to observe, and the question will be answered: How to talk to children?
Call her with her name.
Calling the baby’s name draws more attention to what you are talking about and the conversation between you; Especially in young children who often have short-term concentration; So to get attention, you have to keep calling his name.
Listen to her
Children love to be valued. Show your child that all you care about is listening to what they have to say. Reading the newspaper, watching TV and working while talking to them distracts them and is not pleasant for the child.
Use positive sentences
Never use words that make the child feel guilty or upset. Children do not have complete empathy from the beginning and can not understand many things. They should not be blamed too much for the mistakes they make.
Positive sentences and words give the child confidence and a sense of joy and happiness, improve his behavior and his efforts to achieve more success.
Look into his eyes
The eye is the valve of the heart, and conversation becomes more desirable at any age when one pays attention to each other’s eyes when speaking. You will feel the impact of words on your child when you look into his or her eyes and speak calmly.
Pay attention to the tone of the word
Do not speak in the same tone to a child who is moaning or upset, but when the child calms down. The ups and downs of the sound should be commensurate with the situation. So if you are always talking and shouting, you should quit this habit.
Ask him a question
Ask your child analytical questions if you want them to think more and have free perceptions. Analytical question means questions that are not answered yes or no and he should try to talk more and show his views and feelings. For example, instead of the question “Did the kindergarten go well?” Ask, “What made you happier in kindergarten today?”
Repeat for him if necessary
If you feel that your child is not responding well to your requests and concerns and is confused, repeat your request or requests to make sure he or she understands the point.
Repeat what you said.
Saying the phrase: “Because I say!” Instead of arguing, you make the child never think about why, and you take away the power of analysis and questioning.
Be a child yourself
Children are much smarter than you think. You do not have to be childish or speak in very childish words to be listened to. Children hear people talking to each other and may find childish tone an insult to themselves. What should replace childish tone is childish openness; It means putting yourself in the child’s world and talking to him.
Do not jump in the middle of the child’s speech
If the child tells you a story, listen to the end of the story and do not interrupt. If you constantly jump in the middle of a child’s speech or make useless comments, he or she will lose interest in continuing to speak. For example, if your child tells you what happened at school, do not confuse them with unnecessary questions or deviate from the story. If you have a story or question, put it at the end of his speech.
Do not overdo it
According to research, the human brain can remember an average of 5 to 9 things per conversation. This is why children, when they hear more than they can handle, no longer want to listen to the rest of the story. If you want to teach your child a lot, divide it into several short sections to get a better result.
Be aware of your conversations with others. Organize your conversations with your friends in the presence of the child so that if the child asks you about those professions, you will have an answer.
Do not threaten
The purpose of raising a child is not to make him obedient; Rather, we must give children the opportunity to try and make mistakes. Threatening a child can erode his or her self-esteem and cause problems in adulthood.
As mentioned, these tips are useful ways to improve verbal communication with children. But once again, it is important to note that childish language, including speaking, and that conveying a concept through a child’s favorite games and hobbies may be far more effective than talking to him or her. But each of these paths requires care and attention to get the best feedback from them.