(Educating parents for gender equality)
Translator: Salma Syed
Keywords: Children, Treatment, Gender Equality, Siblings, Relationship, Attitude, problem-solving, jealousy,Rivalry, depression
Unlike the ever-loving siblings of TV movies, the real world of siblings is full of difficulties and challenges provided that parents have the skills and abilities to manage them. Most of us must have encountered parents who are annoyed by their children’s jealousy, harshness and stubbornness towards each other. It is quite interesting to know that these blind alleys of the sibling relationship can be untied by the small efforts of the parents. Have you ever wondered how much parents are involved in creating these tensions and incompatibilities?
Each of our children irrespective of his/her personality trait has the right to have an equal amount of attention and love. There are many families that show prejudiced interest in a girl or a boy; An interest in a child who has a particular gender, skill or characteristic and so on hence, causing parents to turn their attention to one of their children more which is quite unfair. Jealousy, hatred, lack of vocation, running away from home, fearfulness, lack of trust in parents, lack of self-confidence are some of the physical and mental effects that a child faces for not getting equal opportunities or love compared to his/her siblings.
Let’s try to examine the skills to establish equal opportunities and attention to our children:
• When A New Kid is on its way to this world, parents need to create a balanced and behavioral justice to existing children. Before the birth of a new child, parents should create an environment rather atmosphere suitable for the acceptance of a new child by other children.
• Before the birth to a new baby, parents should ensure that the responsibilities of other children are passed on to the father; This will prevent children from thinking that he or she is left without support. Hence keeping the children away from anxiousness, frustration and stress.
• Parents need to be able to distinguish and balance the difference between the behavior and the fairness of their child’s gender. Sometimes it is necessary to weave your daughter’s hair and hug her and then wrestle with your hero son.
• If you buy a beautiful dress, doll for your daughter, you will probably be filled with love; But your son has been thinking about bicycle for a long time, and if you get one for him; The expression of love and attention will remain under his tongue for a long time.
Needs and skills of son and daughter are different. Parents should tailor their abilities accordingly. Notably, one child should not be put ahead of other .This would keep sibling rivalry at a bay.
• Parents should not overlap their children’s differences and abilities. They should not compare them; When they compare two people, they put the weakness of one next to the strength of the other, they prove to him/her that he/she does not have a particular ability or skill, and this is in contrast to the process of his personality development. By doing so, you create jealousy, resentment, and ultimately a spirit of revenge in children.
(Make sure that you are not comparing your children especially under the age of seven)
Instead parents should Wisely and prudently develop a spirit of cooperation and forgiveness, and allow them to willingly let other members of the family use their personal belongings without a fight.
• If children are constantly fighting, parents should identify areas of tension and redress the grievances amicably.
Do not interfere in the fight as much as possible (as long as he/she does not harm himself/herself or others );
Let them learn a little problem solving skill. Do not take the side of a particular child in disputes. If you need to get into their fights, instead of judging, eliminate the atmosphere of the fight and create understanding and peaceful environment.
• You should not teach one of the children to beat his/her sibling to get a particular thing or right. Never make the impression at home that one of the children thinks he is on the safe side and that other children think they are on the opposite side.
Make sure you have a plan for group games at home; It will improve the relationship between the children.
The last but not the least point is that we, as parents, should remove war and strife from our home and marital relations so that children do not have an atmosphere of quarrels and conflicts in their relations with each other. Also, if you want your children to be friends with each other and to quarrel less and make noise, avoid the causes of jealousy; learn to look them all with one eye and treat them fairly.