Exploiting Children to fulfill parents’ unfulfilled dreams

TRANSLATOR:Salma Syeda

KEYWORDS: Parents , children Exploitation, Performance Pressure, Unfulfilled Dreams, Best Profession, Engineer, Doctor, interest of child,opportunity

Many parents look for their unfulfilled dreams in their children and force them to fulfill those dreams. Of course there are lot of parents who just want to expose their children to new ideas and skills, but there are other group of parents as well who use their kids to fulfill the dreams which they could not fulfill in their lives. This is the reason why many parents determine and dictate their children about their future course of action.
This enticing can be:

  1. direct like “you have to be a doctor or an engineer, you have to build your new house yourself, I wish you were a good pilot like your uncle”and the list goes on and on.
    2.Or indirect like “Do you see how well doctors make money? I always dreamed of becoming a pilot but I could no, Lucky neighbor! His son was able to pass the entrance exam”.
    The result being this that if you ask any student what he or she wants to do, he / she immediately says his / her future job and most of them want to be a doctor, or an engineer, or a teacher or a pilot due to the reason that they are influenced by these instincts. Consequently, the years of childhood and adolescence are spent dreaming of a career for which there is no definite prospect of achieving it.
    Beyond the prospect, there is basically no guarantee that what is loaded in the minds of children as a future job will match their intellectual, mental, physical and personal interests in the future; It is also unclear whether the conditions necessary to achieve that goal will be met or not.
    In fact, adults, and especially parents, plant a dream in their children’s minds that is unlikely to come true .
    The fact is that having a particular job in the minds of children and adolescents deprives them of many opportunities that they can think about and choose in the future. Determining one’s future job for a child actually creates a “mental trap” and the person keeps strangling in it deeper and deeper.
    Studies has shown that this performance pressure creates a psychological knot in the brains of children and deprives them of the available opportunities.The future is full of new situations that none of us can predict.When we trap our child’s whole future in a mental trap,we are actually depriving them of many opportunities that arise in each person’s life,so that they do not think about other options . Notably, if a child, adolescent, or young person who is trapped in a mental trap and whose whole life and dreams revolve around a particular job or field of study are likely to miss out on many crucial opportunities in their lives.
    In addition, many do not achieve what the adults portrayed to them (which is often the case), thus, creating depression, low self-esteem, sense of failure or even suicidal tendencies in the minds of children.

So, far the discussion has shown that it is better to seriously avoid urging children to work for a particular future course of action which parents could not fulfill during their times.

Now the question is, “What is the way out?”
It is better to tell our child that all jobs are good and necessary and it does not matter what job you have. The important thing is that whatever job you have, try to be the best in your filed, for example, a good nurse is better than an average doctor, and a good doctor is better than an average nurse. In the same example, we cannot judge which profession is better but we can surely judge which one is better in their job .
If our child grows up with this mentality, he/she will not be involved in “if I choose a field that I am interested in, maybe those around me will be dissatisfied”, but he will make the choice that he is interested in and try to be the best in the path of his choice.
If you make a list of the 10 most successful people you know globally or nationally or around you, you will find that they have different educations and occupations, and what sets them apart is not the specific occupations and educations that are the best in the profession they are pursuing.