Undoubtedly children are the great blessing by the God.Thinking of a large family and more children is both enjoyable and difficult.
If we want to describe the children who fight less, play more with each other, have emotional attachment with their siblings, and the respect and peace between them, brings contentment and satisfaction to the parents.
In order to be able to deepen and strengthen the relationship between our children, we have to work from the very beginning. Many of the differences and cold behaviors between children in adulthood are rooted in their childhood differences. By our proper management we can stop multiple conflicts from actually taking place.
Following are some of the important tips that will help reduce conflict between your children and improve their relationship:
• Do not compare your children with each other:
First of all, from saying things like “Why can’t you listen to me like your brother?” Or “Your sister does not argue with me.” Comparing children means igniting unhealthy competition and creating anger and tension between them.
Too many fights act as a barrier against strengthening the relationship between children. There are fights between siblings, but you as parents should not allow the number of negative experiences of a sibling relationship to exceed the number of positive experiences. Understand them and try to take steps to reduce stress.
• Teach them to appreciate the differences:
Does one of your children like to sit in silence and read a book and the other likes to play noisy games?It is quite normal for your children to have diversified interests
Fighting happens naturally when children have different interests.The important thing in strengthening the relationship between children is to teach them to respect their differences and to love each other. For example, if one child loves mind games and the other loves exciting games, parents should devise a system in which they learn to work together and find a way for both to enjoy or take turns playing.
• Ask them to work as a team:
Creating a sense of cooperation and teamwork is one way to strengthen the relationship between children. Ask the children to complete a project together or help each other with household chores. Set a project for them: for example, painting a room or cleaning a garden and china fruit. Determine the project based on the abilities and age of the children.
Put the children in a team that is going to compete with the parent team and achieve a common goal. Keep competing hard, but let your children win.
• Give your children the same responsibilities
One of the most common causes of differences between children and adolescents is the perception of discrimination between them. pay attention! It may just be discrimination from their point of view and you really did not mean it! To prevent this from happening, give each one a responsibility based on their age. If one of the children is responsible for shopping outside the home, the other should be responsible for arranging things or any other simple task that is appropriate for his or her age.
• Teach them listening skills:
The ability to listen to what a person is saying is an important skill that should be learned from childhood. In this way, one learns to empathize with others and see the world through their eyes. Ask the children to listen to each other’s opinions and understand each other’s opinions and thoughts.
• Teach them to respect others:
Respect is essential to strengthening any kind of relationship. Teach children to treat others the way they would like to be treated. Respect includes talking to another in a calm tone and voice while objecting, caring about other people’s opinions, maintaining the other person’s privacy (not entering a sibling’s room without permission and not taking personal belongings).
• Teach them to reduce the intensity of their negative reactions in times of conflict:
There are differences in any relationship, but it is important to manage it. Teach children that they should not call each other ugly titles, that differences should not affect their relationship.Educating children about how to identify, monitor, evaluate, and correct their emotional reactions to their siblings can have a really positive effect on the quality of their children’s communication. The goal here is to teach your children to reduce the intensity of their negative reactions in times of conflict. In the same way, when their sibling provokes them, Their negative reaction will not be so severe. Be sure to be a good role model for your children in disputes with your spouse.
• Golden Tip: Emphasize that family relationships are important:
Explain to your children that family love, especially that of siblings,is inseparable love that cannot be found anywhere else.
So our important task, as parents is to help our children spend at least a little time each day playing or gaining positive experiences with each other. Most children sometimes fight while playing. The important thing is to make sure they have more positive experiences than negative ones.
• Do not get involved in their fights:
All the children fight. Simply separating them and sending each one to your room does not teach them anything about dispute resolution skills. On the other hand, getting involved in fights should not be in such a way that children feel that one of them has been supported.
Involvement of parents in litigation of young children is recommended. Do not support any of them, but offer a solution to agree and continue the game. But in the case of teenagers, it is better to let them solve the problem themselves and not get involved in their discussions. Naturally, siblings will find conflicts that they need to manage.
Research shows that when children learn specific conflict management techniques, the quality of their sibling relationship definitely improves. The first goal is to help our children not react suddenly and thoughtlessly, and instead take the first important step in resolving the conflict, which is to take a deep breath.
simply! In the next step, we must teach our children about how to react in the emotional situations so that they can calmly inform their siblings of their individual needs and perspectives. It is better to practice this technique in calm situations where children do not have problems with each other, not in the middle of a fight.
TRANSLATOR: Salma Syeda
KEYWORDS: Children, Siblings, Sibling relationship ,sibling rivalry,conflict resolution,parents role , Happy family, Family Management, happy family.