We like to have responsible children, and today we face people who do not have any responsibilities. Adults who refuse to take responsibility for marriage, those who do not fulfill their responsibilities well in their job, those who have no regard for their social responsibility.
We all know that responsibility is not something that suddenly grows with age. It grows slowly in people, but we should water the seedlings of responsibility from the earliest ages of life so that it becomes a big tree in adulthood.
All children like to see themselves as responsible, capable and powerful because they want to gain more self-esteem and want to have a more meaningful life. The goal of children is to do things which are fun and not boring. They, like us adults, need to feel that they are important to the world and have a role to play in this world.
In the process of developing responsibility in children, several important points should be considered:They are as following:
1-start with any age:To teach responsibility, start at an early age, when your child is 2-3 years old and can pick up his or her toys. (Brewer, 2001)
- Involve children and adolescents in decision-making. From time to time, hold family counseling sessions, and in those sessions, make decisions about how to do things and family plans that involve all members of the family.
3- Act by telling anecdotes and stories. All children love the story and learn from it.
They imitate their favorite characters in the story they hear. So if you want to teach responsibility, one of the good ways is to emphasize in the form of a story on characters who are responsible and are rewarded for this trait (Brewer, 2001).
- When your children are tired or bored, do not ask them to do anything. In this situation, the children will naturally respond negatively to your request. When your child is having a boring game or coming home from school, it is definitely not a good time to take on responsibilities.
- Criticism is like a poison that neutralizes the teaching of responsibility. Because no one likes to be criticized
So if he did something wrong, do not say it wrong, and do not make fun of him for what he did. Also, in measuring and evaluating his performance, focus on the effort he has made, not the result he has achieved; Even if we see that he has made great efforts but has not achieved results, we should strongly encourage him.
6- Avoid comparisons, because it reduces self-confidence and feelings of helplessness in people who are considered weak compared to others. This feeling of helplessness causes the person not to do anything to reduce the possibility of failure in that work (Rais Dana, 1373).
7-Set an example of responsibility for your children. Observational learning with pattern learning is emphasized by some psychologists such as Bandura (1986). Whether we like it or not, we are influenced by different patterns. If parents show a sense of responsibility and care in all their behaviors, children will be affected as well. The best way to teach children responsibility is to be as responsible as possible in front of them.
- Make homework fun. For example, you can turn homework into a competition (if siblings have a competition, how much better!) Or talk and joke with him while he/She works with you to do things.
9- When he/she is doing something, do not control him/her so that he thinks that you doubt his ability. Also, give your child age-appropriate tasks, not difficult or very easy ones. Your child needs to understand that what he or she is doing is something that really helps the process, not just for fun.
10- Remind him /her of the responsibility he/she has to do in a very clear way (preferably by showing it to yourself or someone else). You should also abide by the rules but avoid punishment and blame. Tell him/her what the consequences will be if he/she does not do everything he/she is responsible for.
In general, it can be said that responsibility in children depends on their different experiences in the family. When parents provide a good example of responsibility and encourage their children to cooperate and participate in decision-making and avoid criticizing and disrespecting their children, they have provided a good environment for cultivating a sense of responsibility in children. Children’s stories and games are also a good tool for fostering responsible behaviors in them.
KEYWORDS: Responsible child, Social resposnibility, adulthood, Criticism, Parenthood, teaching responsibility, adolescents ,decision -making, home-work, Comparisons
TRANSLATOR: Salma Syeda