A complete guide of how to nurture and rear a child (doing tarbi’at) so that he becomes a pious Muslim
According to various Islamic narrations ,the upbringing of a child begins before he/she enters this world. Therefore, three stages can be considered for training.
- Prenatal phase;
- Infancy phase;
- Childhood Phase
- The prenatal period
Planning for a baby goes back to before marriage.There are various points that need to be considered before planning a baby.
Choosing a spouse
The child spends his/her most sensitive time of upbringing in the family and this is the reason why it has been said that couple is one of the essential pillar of the family. Therefore, if the spouses are physically healthy, mentally and spiritually competent and educated, it can be boldly said that an important part of child upbringing is guaranteed. The first basis of human happiness is choosing the right spouse according to Islamic standards, so that a righteous child is born with a healthy body and strong faith. According to Islam, the importance of choosing a wife is more than the importance of choosing a husband .
In narrations, the role of mothers has been discussed in various dimensions; Including:
Inheritance: It is narrated that women bear children like her brothers and sisters.
Nutrition: Traditions indicate that breast milk is a unique and complete food for the baby and has many effects on the child as it may change his/her nature. Therefore, it is recommended not leave your children to breastfeed a pious and faithful lady.
Giving birth to children and raising them is a special art ,This is why women are the manifestation of God’s creativity and are honored by God.History witnesses that the best child of the human race was born in the mother’s womb.
Protection and care: Mother is the coach of her of children. The role of the mother is such that despite the creation of man on the basis of divine nature, the mother can raise him/her contrary to this nature.
Whenever a woman becomes pregnant, she is like a fasting person, a worshiper, and a Mujahideen who fights with her life in the way of God, and whenever she gives birth, no one knows the greatness of her reward, and whenever she breastfeeds, every time she breastfeeds a child bears reward equal to freeing a slave and whenever she finishes breastfeeding, an angel comes to her side and says: “God has forgiven you,”
There are many narrations about the good etiquettes and its effect on the soul and body of the child. [
According to Islam, how women conceive and feed and rest affects the formation of the personality and appearance of infants. This seemingly insignificant issue can play a very important and vital role in the development and upbringing of children
Hearing the verses of the Qur’an, seeing the sky and pleasant scenery, has a positive effect on the child’s soul and psyche Just as watching violent scenes and hearing inappropriate speech have an adverse effect.
- The Infancy period;
Some narrations indicate the rituals that must be followed from the beginning of the child’s birth until the seventh day. According to some Narrations ,Practicing these etiquettes creates favorable conditions for upbringing in the child; However, the role of some of these rituals in raising a child may be hidden from us or have less effect on upbringing.
Celebrating the birth: The baby is a great blessing for the family, and the birthday celebration is in fact a celebration of thanksgiving for this great divine blessing. Imam Sadiq(AS) has said: “Man’s greatest day is the day he is born, and his smallest day is the day he dies.”
Ghusl: In a saying of Imam Sadegh (AS): It is necessary to bathe the baby. “
Saying the call to prayer in the baby’s ear: This tradition indicates the role of the first sounds in the nature of the child and its effect on his upbringing and destiny.
Rubbing Turbat and Euphrates water on the baby’s palate: The purpose of this operation is to rub some soil(turbat of Seyed Al-Shohada) and water of river Euphrates on the baby’s palate. The wisdom of this work is that the right-seeking, justice-seeking and friendship of the Ahl al-Bayt (AS) penetrate into the child’s soul at the beginning of life.
Choosing a good name: A good name can affect education in several ways; For example, influencing the behavior of others, influencing a person’s personality through indoctrination and imitation and preventing the destructive effects of ugly names. Imam al-Kadhim (AS) has said: The first good thing a man does to his child is to give him a good name. So each of you should give a good name to his child. “
Shaving the head of a baby: It is recommended that on the seventh day of birth, the baby’s hair should be shaved .
Making aqeeqah: Aqeeqah is a sacrifice and a price for the health of a child’s life. Aqeeqah is the cause of the child’s closeness to God, as well as God’s attention to the child and the humiliation of the devil and his distance from man.
Circumcision: It is said in a saying of Imam Sadiq (AS): On the seventh day, circumcise your children; “Because it is more pure and meat grows faster …”
- Childhood Phase
A normal and correct upbringing of a child is much easier than re-educating him.Following religious guidelines reduces the difficulty of education. In educating a child, there are several points and by giving importance to them,we could make education easier and more productive. These points include:
Creating religious beliefs: The most important belief that should be institutionalized in human beings is the belief in God, the friendship of the Prophet (PBUH) and the Ahl al-Bayt (AS); As the Prophet of God (PBUH) said: “Whoever educates a child to say La ilaha illa Allah, God will not hold him accountable.”
In another speech ,Prophet of God (PBUH) said Educate your children on three characteristics: the friendship of your Prophet, the friendship of his family and reading the Qur’an.
Teaching the Qur’an, rules and beliefs should be done before the child’s mind is busy with other things or other beliefs come to him; Because their empty minds will accept the truth better and easier, and it is like a clean pool that has just been built and filled with clean water.
Teaching etiquette to children is an indispensible responsibility of parents.These include social etiquette, eating, sleeping, cleanliness, dressing, and so on.’
Keywords: Child upbringing, Righteous child ,Prenatal phase, Infancy phase,Childhood Phase,Shaving Head, Aqeeqah, Circumcision, Etiquette training, Muslim Child