According to Islam, children are one of the most important pillars of the family. They are the eyesight and comfort of parents’ heart.Children are on of the valuable blessing of God.
The Prophet (PBUH) said: A righteous child is a flower that is given to his servants by God (Kalini, 1986, vol. 6, p. 3).
Children bring blessings and mercy from heaven and reward for their parents
Imam Sadiq (AS) said: The children of Muslims are called intercessors , when they are twelve years old, good deeds are written for them and when they reach adulthood, their evil deeds are written (Muhaddith Noori, 1408 AH, AH, J 14, p. 169).
Children will make the Prophet (PBUH) proud on the Day of Resurrection:
The Prophet (PBUH) said: Marry and have children. It is true that on the Day of Judgment, I will be proud of your multiplicity, even of aborted children (Majlisi, 1404 AH, vol. 100, p. 221).
Role of Parents.
Having children is one of the important goals of marriage. Men and women (parents) have a fundamental and important role in educating this divine trust. If we consider the family as the first educational center, without any doubt ,we can say that parents are the first educators and teachers of this important center. The child learns moral, ideological, personality and other tendencies and attitudes from his/her parents.
The father, the soul of the family, is not just a man, but the environment of the family circle. Mother means someone who can unite a family. The mother is the source of family motivation. All family members get their power from the mother. She is the nucleus of the family circle. The mother is the manifestation of love, the source of love and affection in the family ”(Jan Bozorgi wa Humkaraan 2010, p. 31).
Many narrations emphasize on the role of parents and this shows that the responsibility of parents is not only to provide food and clothing to their children, but also to pay attention to all aspects of children’s existence in different stages of development .
Parents are responsible for preparing the child’s material resources, but their most important task is to raise and nurture the child.
وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلَوةِ وَصْطَبربرْ عَلَيهَا ،
Command your family to pray and be patient in doing it! (Surah Taha, 132)
According to one of the Narrations of Imam Sajjad(AS),the Imam considers the father directly responsible for guiding and educating the child. By accepting and paying attention to this point ,parents motivate their children to learn educational concepts and try to bring them up to their Lord.
Imam Sadiq (AS) considers a lot of effort in raising a child narrated as under:
وَتَجِبُ لِلْوَلَدِ عَلَى أَلِدِهِ ثَلَاثُ خِصَالٍ اخْتِيارُهُ لِوَالِدَتِهِ وَحَسِين ُ
The right of the child to the father is three things: to choose a suitable ,to make great efforts in discipline and upbringing (Majlisi, 1404 AH, vol. 75, p. 235).
Parents should always pay attention to their responsibility for the upbringing of their children. The believers have been reminded of this duty in some of the verses of the Qur’an.
The Prophet (PBUH) holds parents responsible if their children are deviated from the path described by Allah.
The Prophet (PBUH) said: Every child is born according to the divine nature until his parents decide make him a Jew and a Christian (Majlisi, vol. 3, p. 281).
Both the parents have a role in the upbringing of the child, but according to the temperament of each of them has a duty. The mother has the duty of obeying and submitting to the head of the house (husband) while husband should empower the wife which will provide a relaxing environment for the family space so that all family members can achieve their own divine growth.
The father is responsible for the whole family. The mother is more effective than the father in terms of educational influence.
Imam Sadegh (AS) said: As far as the rights of child is considered ,There are three things which should be ensured by his father: to choose a suitable mother for him, to choose a beautiful name for him and to make great efforts in educating him (Majlisi 1404 AH, vol. 75, p. 235)
Health of the mother :
Health of the mother is of utmost importance as far as development of a fetus is considered. Emotional health of the mother should be given paramount importance.Despite the lack of direct fetal nervous system communication with the mother, maternal emotional states such as anger, fear, and anxiety can affect fetal reactions and growth; This is because these emotional states produce certain chemicals that can enter the fetus through the placenta. In addition, the body’s endocrine glands secrete hormones that alter the body’s metabolism as well as blood composition.
Under these conditions, the endocrine glands, especially the adrenal glands, secrete large amounts of various hormones. As mentioned above, the secretion of these hormones through the placenta affects the fetus and increases the fetal body movements, which will have bad results on the baby.
Often, the mother’s mental state during pregnancy affects the fetus, because the secretions of the endocrine glands (hormones) are disturbed, and this, as mentioned, is effective in the development of the fetus and makes it difficult for the baby to adapt to the external environment. Therefore, society should pay more attention to the pregnant mother and place her directly under medical, psychological and social care so that the fetus grows in a completely healthy and qualified environment (Shaarinejad, 1985, p. 110).
Importantly, maternal nutrition is effective in the child’s morals and should be given due importance. This point is mentioned in Islamic teachings:
The Prophet (PBUH) said: Give frankincense to your pregnant women. If a child eats frankincense in his mother’s womb, his heart will be strong and his intellect will increase.
According to the divine verses, it is said that the guidance and misfortune of individuals are due to family guidance and misguidance, it is not an exaggeration, so in Islam, the function of the family is not limited to providing an economic need, but its main duty is to care.
Always pray for your children.
Imam Kadhim (AS) said: Stick to prayer, because prayer to God and seeking to return to the threshold of God, the calamity that has been predestined and ruled and has not been left except its implementation and as God Almighty is called and He was asked to return it at once (Al-Kafi J: 2 p: 470).
One of the prayers that is hoped to be answered is the prayer of a father to his child:
النَّبِيِّ ص قَالَ يَا عَلِيُّ أَرْبَعَةٌ لَا تُرَدُّ لَهُمْ دَعْوَةٌ إِمَامٌ عَادِلٌ وَ الْوَالِدُ لِوَلَدِهِ وَ الرَّجُلُ يَدْعُو لِأَخِيهِ بِظَهْرِ الْغَيْبِ وَ الْمَظْلُومُ يَقُولُ اللَّهُ وَ عِزَّتِي وَ جَلَالِي لَأَنْتَصِرَنَّ لَكَ وَ لَوْ بَعْدَ حِينٍ
The Prophet (PBUH) said: O Ali, the prayer of four people will not be rejected; the prayer of Imam Adil, the prayer of a father for his child, the prayer of a believer behind his religious brother and the prayer of the oppressed, which God Almighty says: I swear by my honor and glory I will surely help you no matter how much time has passed (Wasa’il al-Shi’ah c: 7 p: 108).
Imam Sajjad (AS) has prayed for his children in the twenty-fifth prayer of Sahifa Sajjadieh. Excerpts from it are given in this treatise.
اللَّهُمَّ وَمُنَّ عَلَيَّ بِبَقَاءِ وُلْدِي
May God bless me for the survival of my children and for making them worthy of me and for me to enjoy them.
ِْلَهِي امْدُدْ لِي فِي أَعْمَارِهِمْ, وَضِدْ لِي فِي أَجَالِهِمْ
May God prolong their lives for me and increase their lives for me.
وَعَعِنِّى عَلَى تَرْبِيَتِهِمْ وَتَعْدِيبِهِمْ, وَبِرِّهِمْ, وَعِذْنِي وَ ذُرِّيَتِي مِن الشَّيَّْ
And help me in educating them. And protect me and my descendants from the evil of the devil (Sahifa Sajjad, translated by Ansarian 1374, pp. 144-142).
KEYWORDS: Children, Parents role, Islamic perspective, child a blessing, health of mother, prophet Muhammad, Imam Sadiq, Imam Sajad, Path of God, Sahifa Sajjad